Friday Funny - Types Of Angler

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Friday Funny - Types Of Angler

Here’s a bit of fun; over the years I’ve met so many anglers, and, while I’m not one to label anyone, and aware that there are always exceptions to any rule, I’ve generally found most lads fall into one of these categories. Which angler are you (or your mates) most like?

The Expert

You know the one! Always boasting about the fish they’ve caught from the lake you are currently blanking on. Constantly whipping their phone out, going through pictures of their captures. Despite you taking hours to find spots and accurately bait up they point out you’re fishing the wrong spots and on the wrong baits. They have an opinion on every rig and bait and their opinion is obviously gospel. They finally leave your swim after drinking all your tea, leaving your head in an utter mess, as you question yourself, and your tactics.

The Recluse

Generally the guy or girl who sits tucked out the way with the bivvy door down and absolutely nothing on show. You might walk past them thinking they are up to some dodgy bankside activity; however they are simply a very secretive, private breed. Never will you see their bait, tackle, rigs or even get a hello. If you do happen to see one of these rare breed of anglers they may muster a grunt but their lips will never grace your spare brew mug.

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The Tackle Tart

They have everything. The best reels, rods, nets, bivvy, luggage - and with absolutely no idea how to use it. They are generally loud, and love talking about the old kit they sold to their mate, which was more up to date then the kit you’re using. It’s a constant bankside tackle review on all top end items. Personalised rods, custom made reels; there’s no limits to this angler’s pockets in the quest to have the best-looking gear. You’ve got to look the part when you are struggling to hit the clip at ten wraps, or blanking, after all!

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The Spy

These sneaky creatures tend to always be behind you when you land a fish, or creeping around the lake glancing at your baits, rigs, and where you’re casting. Often very hard to detect, they gain a great deal of information from you without your knowledge, and then copy you without your knowledge. Beware: these creatures can almost cause you to have a heart attack when you’re playing a fish at 2am, and a voice from the darkness behind you offers to net your fish for you just so they can glimpse your winning rig.

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The Punisher

The anglers that can’t accept that you may not know everything, and that there may have been some element of luck in you capture. They tend to trap you in endless hours of conversation, often very loudly, right next to your subtle, marginal fishing spot. They ask question after question, all with some thirsty, knowledge driven mindset that has slowly sent then insane, over analysing everything, and causing some form of bankside OCD. These are the anglers that shower in krill liquid just to give them an edge and then talk to you about why you don’t. All you want is to enjoy the piece, tranquillity and sanctuary away from busy modern life, and as soon as a punisher enters your swim, you know it will be a long time before this is the case.

The Jammy One

Those people who were born with all the luck. You've been struggling and then Billy golden balls turns up and catches in seconds making you look like a right noddy. These infuriating beasts can drive people to tears and the edge of violence. At times it appears they don't even need hooks as they could chuck out just a bare lead and it would lodge itself in the mouth of the nearest specimen. Its always useful to keep one of these handy if you are off for a fishing session in the hope that the witchcraft clearly bestowed on this person may rub off on you.
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